Wednesday, November 5, 2014

40 And A Half

I've been 40 for 6 months now and feel like I've been set up. In that 6 months I have come up with a list of things that nobody warned me about. I guess it's my duty to forewarn those who are yet to reach this milestone so you can go in with your eyes WIDE open.
Here goes - some are good and some not so good

1  Hair dye needs to be applied more frequently
2  I need to use spot control AND wrinkle cream
3  When people say 'middle aged' they might mean me
4  I can't wear sequins for fear of looking like a sparkly mutton dressed as lamb
5  Waking up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet (at least I'm waking up!)
6  Always so tired
7  Wishing I had taken naked photos of myself when I was 25
8  Sitting in a waiting room I reach for Home & Garden magazines rather than Cosmopolitan
9  Realising I'm probably never going to be a Solid Gold Dancer
10  Going out without make up on is a crime against humanity
11  The 'me' in my head is like a foxy younger sister of the 'me' in the mirror
12  I choose comfort over style... always
13  Have finally realised that life is NOT like an 80's movie
14  Other than the royals and the Kardashian's I don't recognise anyone in the tabloids
15  Ages 31-39 feels like one year.  I'm scared I'll blink and be 180!
16  The 'Real Housewives' are the same age as me
17  I still think 20 something year old guys are hot... and they're like 'Mum?'
18  I get a hangover just looking at alcohol
19  And hangovers last for 2 days
20  The next milestone birthday is 50
21  I walk into a room and forget what I went in there for, only to remember as soon as I return to my starting point
22  I've given up believing that I will one day get into a size 10
23  No tolerance for teenagers
24  If I bought a turtle it might out live me
25  EVERYTHING has to be written down
26  Tea is my drink of choice
27  I'm half way to 80!  HALF WAY!!
28  I've finally learnt to say no and not feel bad about it (this is awesome)
29  My metabolism died with my 30's
30  The state of the planet makes me furious
31  People ask me for advice - and I feel able to give it
32  Meeting new friends and then realising I'm the same age as their parents
33  Hearing about school friends becoming GRANDPARENTS
34  Dating website match criteria age is now 40-50 (but they look 50-60!)
35  Being older than ALL the All Blacks
36  Sitting on the couch has become preferable to basically every other activity in life
37  I don't worry so much about things I have no control over
38  Spontaneous girls nights out have to carefully planned weeks in advance
39  The people in my life are there because I want them to be (this is a good thing)
40  Not getting asked for ID every time I buy wine at the supermarket (this is both good and bad)


  1. I'm rocking up there to 40 myself and can relate to all of those things.

    When pregnant with one of the boys (yeah, memory loss), someone asked me in the checkout line at Target (after overhearing me discuss an ultrasound with my husband) if "you are going to be a grandma TOO!!"

    No, lady, I'm not. Yet. Anddddd I circled back to the beauty aisle for wrinkle cream.

    And ogled the wine. That I could not have.

  2. I'm hearing ya! People are stupid. Fact. I actually probably could have done a list of 50 things - including unexplained aches and pains. Ooh me back!